Building Rapport in a Matter of Minutes

When a business owner is looking at generating business from networking there is a process that needs to be followed in order to get those results.

No business generation can result if there is no relationship. No relationship can happen without trust. Trust cannot be built without rapport.

Rapport creates trust and builds positive psychological bridges to others and it is also the first step in building a relationship. Your ability to build rapport quickly will determine the quality of your connections, how you are perceived by others and if people will want to connect with you and seek you out.

So How Do You Build Rapid Rapport?

Firstly, we need to know how we communicate. Most of us are familiar with the following statistics, however we often need reminding. By keeping in mind we communicate 55% of the time with non verbals we can pay more attention to the level of rapport we need to have. Here they are to remind us:

7 %         Words

38%        Tone, pitch, volume and speed of voice

55%        Non verbal (body language)

We also need to remember that people relate and communication on several levels, let’s look at the most common ones:

• Visual
• Auditory
• Kinaesthetic

So given this information, where do we start? Here are five tips to get you rapidly building rapport at the next networking event you attend.

1. Find Common Ground

All too often, people say to me “I don’t know what to say when I first meet someone at a networking event? My suggestion is always the same and that is to find something you have in common that you can share. It might be the weather, the speaker or topic you are about to listen to, the traffic anything where you have common ground is always a good place to start. Conversations will be more positive and comfortable when someone views us as similar to them. In fact we tend to gravitate towards people we are similar to, so the more you can relate to another person in them perceiving you as the same, the more likely they will connect with you. The best and easiest way to ask the question is to start with “Tell me about...”

2. Match or Mirror their Body Language

Casually make the same gestures they do, so you might cross your left leg because the other person crosses his/her left leg. In the case of mirroring you would cross your right leg when they cross their left leg. Don’t restrict the body language only to the torso and arms and legs, consider the tilt of the other persons head, and facial expressions as well. In addition to these simple examples consider also the frequency and subtlety of their movements.

3. Match Their Speech and Breathing

If they are talking slow, you talk slow, if they talk fast, you talk fast. Also match their tone, pitch, tempo and volume.  Not many people realise you can build deep rapport when you match someone’s breathing pattern. This is picked up unconsciously by the other person and allows you the ability to get into their space and how they may be experiencing this moment.

4. Use Their Name Regularly

People like hearing their name and being referred to by name as it makes them feel important. However, do not go overboard with saying their name.

5. Show Interest When They Are Talking To You

Smile and listen to what they are saying. This makes people feel they are important. When you are talking with someone you need to engage with them. This won’t happen if you are looking all around the room for someone you want to meet.

How to Know if You Have Built Deep Rapport

The best way to know if you are connecting with the other person and developing a deep rapport with them is to slowly change any part of your body, whether your torso, the position of your arms or legs, leaning forward or backwards, or your voice. If you notice the other person following you, you know you have achieved a deep level of rapport with the other person and on your way to developing trust.

How to Break Rapport Without Losing It

In a networking environment, it is important that you realise that other people are just as keen as you to meet up and talk to others in attendance. Talking at length to any one person at an event is not good etiquette. The purpose is to introduce yourself, give them a compliment such as “I was very interested in what you said / what you do” and then ask for their permission to email or call to catch up at a later time to find out more about each other in depth.

If you find yourself being talked to at length with someone and you want to approach others, you can break this rapport with the other person without losing it. You never want to dismiss someone on the basis you aren’t interested in them because you never know who they know.

So the best way to get out of this situation is to say politely “I am so glad you approached me and I would really love to know more about you and what you do, how about I give you a call / send you an email to arrange a time for us to get together where we won’t have any interruptions? There is someone I need to catch up with here and it looks like he/she could be leaving soon. Can I have your card please?”